Things to consider while searching for the one for you
By
Mr. Adetokunbo Adewole
Reflecting upon my journey of over 14 years in marriage, I sometimes wonder how life would have turned out if I made a wrong decision selecting my life partner. Before I got married, one thing I was certain of was to utilize every resource, embrace every good advice just to be sure I make the best decision in selecting a spouse. Fortunately for me, I made the right decision and my aim is for every young man out there who desires to be married to do likewise. So, as you stand on the threshold of life, pondering the many choices before you, I want to share some insights about finding the right woman. A woman who will stand by your side through thick and thin, and with whom you will build a life filled with love, joy, and purpose.
First of all, seek a woman whose values and beliefs align with yours. This is important because it brings about a shared foundation which provides unity and stability in the relationship. Now this does not mean you both have to be identical in every way. But you want to be identical in your core values, like your faith as Christians which will serve as a guiding light during tough times.
Secondly, seek a woman who trusts you and whom you trust as well. A relationship without genuine trust is like a ship without a compass, it will drift aimlessly. In addition, great relationships are built on mutual respect. Hence, respect her opinions, dreams and aspirations, just as you would want her to respect yours.
Also, while physical attraction is important, remember that true companionship goes beyond the physical. So, ensure to look for compatibility in terms of interests, goals, and dreams. A woman with whom you can share both laughter and silence. One who understands your shortfalls and loves you regardless.
In addition, we live in a time where many are in haste to get married but are not emotionally mature for marriage. Immaturity in marriage can send the union to its early grave. So as young men who desire to be married, seek a woman who exhibits emotional maturity. One who communicates openly, is matured enough to handle conflicts and offers emotional support during tough times.
Marriage goes beyond just two individuals coming together, but it is a union built upon shared goals, dreams, and ambitions. Discuss your hopes for the future, whether it’s starting a family, traveling the world, or pursuing a particular passion or career. Ensure that your visions for the future align and complement each other. One way of also knowing the right woman is finding a woman that is committed to personal growth and encourages you to be the best version of yourself and vice versa. Great relationships should inspire both partners to grow, learn and evolve not just as individuals but also as a couple.
Lastly, seek a love that is unconditional, a love that accepts flaws, forgives mistakes, and endures through the trials and tribulations of life. Remember, as we seek the right woman with these qualities, we have to be certain we possess these and more and are willing to be the best man for her. Finding the right woman is not about seeking perfection, but rather finding someone with whom you can build a life filled with love, trust, and mutual respect. Hence as men, make up your mind to cherish her, uplift her, protect her and always strive to be the man she deserves.
It is God’s desire that every marriage union prospers. Therefore, in spite of having all this knowledge, ensure to pray and commit your search into God’s hands and He will direct your path to finding the one.